Burger Court - Judging the best burgers in Dallas, TX
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Oyez, Oyez! The Burger Court for the Northern District of Texas is now in session. The Honorable Justices Hamderson and Lowenburger presiding.
Each month or so the justices and a jury of our peers will judge the quality of a burger at a burger establishment in the Dallas area on a scale of 1 to 5 (with 5 being the highest) in the following categories:
Cause of Action (meat quality)
Proximate Cause (bun, toppings quality)
Ancillary Issues (quality of sides, atmosphere, extras)
Final Verdict (overall)
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Burger Court
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Submitted by Petitioner John Adolph
Amended toppings: toppings at Juror's discretion
Session held on Tuesday, January 19 at 11:30 a.m.
Cause of Action (meat quality): 3.58/5.00
Proximate Cause (bun, toppings quality): 4.08/5.00
Ancillary Issues (quality of sides, atmosphere, extras): 4.00/5.00
Final Verdict (overall): 4.08/5.00
Summary Judgment
Move over Twisted Root, there's a new Burger King in town (for now...). Jake's won everyone over with its overwhleming, tasty toppings and relaxed atmopshere. Many of the jurors had never been to Jake's before or didn't have it high on their list, but they all basically changed their minds after trying the Jalapeno Bottle Cap Burger (hereafter, "JBCB"). Here's some of what everyone had to say:
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Burger Court
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Submitted by Petitioner Ken Barnhouse
Amended toppings: toppings at Juror's discretion
Session held on Tuesday, December 15 at 11:00 a.m.
Cause of Action (meat quality): 3.83/5.00
Proximate Cause (bun, toppings quality): 3.58/5.00
Ancillary Issues (quality of sides, atmosphere, extras): 3.33/5.00
Final Verdict (overall): 3.50/5.00
Summary Judgment
As we bid a fond farewell to 2009 (don't let the door hit ya on the way out!) and make our new year's resolution to start exercising again for the next couple weeks or so, let's all take a moment to remember all of the tasty burgers we tried in 2009 and look forward to the many more we have to judge in 2010. What did we learn? That when most people say they like a burger place with divey atmosphere, they really mean they want a nice, clean air-conditioned and sanitized room with lots o' crazy crap on the wall that looks divey enough. And it better not be pricey. Who's Who Burgers was many of these things but not quite enough of them to unseat the current leader, Twisted Root Burger Co., and its kobe burger didn't quite deliver enough bang for the buck for some of the jurors. So, in the spirit of the new decade and while we still try to decide what the heck to call this past decade (the aughties? the 00's? the naughties?), let's see what the jury had to say:
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Burger Court
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Submitted by Petitioner Tim Hubach
Amended toppings: cheeseburger, mustard, lettuce, tomatoes, pickles and onions
Amended Session held Tuesday, November 9 to Friday November 13, 2009
Cause of Action (meat quality): 3.23/5.00
Proximate Cause (bun, toppings quality): 3.00/5.00
Ancillary Issues (quality of sides, atmosphere, extras): 2.85/5.00
Final Verdict (overall): 3.00/5.00
Summary Judgment
Is this month's burger more controversial than Twisted Root? Maybe not, but our panelists were sure all over the place.
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Burger Court
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Submitted by Petitioner Clay Scheitzach
Amended toppings: Wheat bun, other toppings at Juror's discretion (ancho-chili ketchup recommended)
Session held on Friday, October 2, 2009 at 11:30 a.m.
Cause of Action (meat quality): 4.00/5.00
Proximate Cause (bun, toppings quality): 4.00/5.00
Ancillary Issues (quality of sides, atmosphere, extras): 3.09/5.00
Final Verdict (overall): 3.64/5.00
Summary Judgment
The jury gave Twisted Root's buffalo burger a resounding vote of confidence that could well stand as one of the highest ratings of this Court's inaugural term, proving that chef-driven burgers are apparently the way to go and a little shameless populism by the burger's petitioner doesn't hurt either.
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Burger Court
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Submitted by Justice Lowenburger
Amended toppings: mustard, lettuce, pickles, onions
Session held on Tuesday, September 15, 2009 at 11:45 a.m.
Cause of Action (meat quality): 2.27/5.00
Proximate Cause (bun, toppings quality): 3.27/5.00
Ancillary Issues (quality of sides, atmosphere, extras): 3.13/5.00
Final Verdict (overall): 3.00/5.00
Summary Judgment
Wellsir, thanks to all who participated in September's Burger Court proceedings. I have to say, I thought our panel this month did a great job in terms of enthusiasm. I will admit to being greatly disappointed by the final tally. Excuse me for loving over-cooked thin patties. Seriously, excuse me - I seem to have offended some of you with my burger of choice. In true 2009 style, I will not apologize for my choice, but instead say that I am sorry if anyone was offended.*
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