|
ConFusion Lives Up to its Name
By Michony Andenberg,
Your ConFused Law Reviewers
March Madness – when spring is finally in the air and people get ridiculously excited about a team they knew nothing about a week ago who promptly loses and ruins their tournament bracket. This is inevitably followed by April Apathy – when you realize that summer heat is just around the corner and “One Shining Moment” is more fun than the 20 hours of college hoops you just watched. And that pretty much sums up our feelings about ConFusion, the new Asian fusion place near the Bishop Arts District in Oak Cliff.
We were excited because ConFusion has a couple of things going for it, namely the best name for an Asian fusion restaurant in the history of ever and a spot in a funky, hip area of town that north-of-downtown people like us call “funky, hip” because we’d never go there if we didn’t have a restaurant or bar to use as an excuse. Unfortunately, we can’t give ConFusion anything more than a big “meh.” Blame it on April Apathy and the “meh” generation. Just don’t blame us, we’re innocent of all charges (until a final, nonappealable determination of guilt is entered by the highest court of competent jurisdiction). Seriously though, we wanted to like ConFusion, and we gave it a couple of tries and enjoyed its earnest and friendly service, but the food is just too okay-but-pricey to give it more than a lukewarm review and some suggestions for how to fix things up.
Brought to you by the good folks behind Taqueria Tepatitlan (also a great name) in Oak Cliff, ConFusion has a tiny parking lot that quickly fills up. The exterior of the building is all about what brown can do for you and we think the interior has gone a little too far over to the dark side, if you know what we mean (we mean it’s a little too dark inside). The small outdoor patio has a nice zen fountain thing going on. The service was very friendly and prompt, with the only complaint being that no one knew how to make an Arnold Palmer (take one Mr. Palmer and one Mrs. Palmer, add a weekend getaway to Napa, and … THANK YOU! We’ll be here all week!). Finally, the half-tea-half-lemonade appeared, with a nice seltzery twist and we were on our way down the culinary rabbit trail.
ConFusion’s menu lives up to its fusion credentials by offering a variety of dishes from all over Asia – many are conveniently labeled “Cambodian,” “Laotian” or “Thai” in case you aren’t sure. As with the restaurant’s name, some of the menu items have clever titles like Kiss Me Ginger, but for some reason it’s the dishes like Banana balls and Gang Dang that make us giggle. We’d say we’re immature but you already knew that; hey, anyone want to know how to make an Arnold Palmer? Anyhoo, ConFusion’s problem is that the pricing structure is out of whack. Red flag no. 1: no lunch specials (officially, at least). And most of the menu items tend to be more expensive than at comparable Asian restaurants around town. It appears the owners are aware that most other Asian places offer lunch specials with a soup/salad/spring roll option, though, because we were mysteriously given small bowls of soup and mini spring rolls on our second visit (the spring rolls had a tasty curry zing but the soup was pretty bland).
So, how did the rest of the food taste? Starting with the starters, the Cambodian Corn Cakes ($7.50) apparently also contained both crab and shrimp, but we couldn’t really taste either and, while the crust of the cakes was nicely crunchy, the interior was a little on the mushy side. The Laotian Crab Cakes ($7.50) came in fun kid shapes like stars and hearts, which immediately made us wonder if they were purchased at a nearby Whole Foods (and would our kids eat them or just throw them at the dog like everything else). The crab tasted fine but a little pre-fabricated. The Summer Rolls ($7.50) were basically your standard Asian steamed rice paper rolls, but the half slice of shrimp to a roll seemed skimpy for the price. As for entrees, on one visit we tried the Texas and Tan An ($11.95), which is a Texas pecan crusted Vietnamese white fish fillet. Although the sauce could have used more kick, the crust had a delicious crunch and the fish was moist and tasty. On another visit we tried the green curry with calamari ($8.25 + $3 for the calamari). We ordered it spicy and it had a nice creamy, sweet taste but not so much with the spicy part. Pad key mow (ConFusion’s spelling) with tofu ($8.25), or flat rice noodles, with garlic, chilies, tomato, bell pepper and basil, tasted of salt and tamarind (?) and not much else, which was a huge disappointment for a dish that should be slightly spicy with earthy notes from the vegetables.
For dessert, the ConFusion white cake with milk ($6.50) was really expensive for what tasted like a standard tres leches cake that we suspect was brought in from the nearest Mexican dessert commissary. The Great Wall of China Chocolate Cake ($6.50) was also really pricey and they missed an easy clever dessert name – Great Wall of Chocolate Cake! – but at least it was thick and chocolatey so it didn’t feel like as much of a rip-off.
Ultimately, ConFusion lives up to its name by providing an okay but frustrating dining experience that’s just too pricey for what you get. If they’d lower their price points a smidge, add an official lunch specials menu and focus on doing fewer dishes really well then we think they’ll be just fine. On our over the top college basketball announcer five-gavel scale, where five gavels is Gus Johnson going crazy over a first round buzzer beater and one gavel is Dickie V going all Diaper Dandy over his beloved Dukies, we give ConFusion two and a half gavels or Billy Packer coming back from the grave to grump through another blowout finals game (What’s that? He’s still alive? Oopsies!).
|
