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Buzzbrews Builds a Better Breakfast
By Michael Anderson and Anthony Lowenberg
It’s 7:00 a.m. Brief due today? Closing a deal at five o’clock? Stolen nuclear bomb hidden in a circus cannon ticking down to zero while cheering dignitaries and generals from NATO and East Germany sit nearby, laughing at the clowns, oblivious to the danger right under their noses? Relax! Have some breakfast. Buzzbrews is open 24-7 and is conveniently located in the parking lot of Uptown’s very own Best Western. Why stay at the W when you can drive to your room? Why are there so many questions in this opening paragraph? How should we know?
The buzz in Buzzbrews apparently refers to the many types of self-service coffee ($2.00 for a bottomless mug) always on hand, and not alcohol. Flavors on our visit included a house brew, “Black Magic,” and some sort of mocha flavor that we can’t recall the exact name of, but it was delicious nonetheless. The menu is full of cutsey names for dishes, but don’t let that put you off (we hate cutesy names for food, only cats and Houston lawyers should have cutsey names). Most of the menu is breakfast food, but there are some salads, burgers, and grinders. For those of you who don’t know, a grinder is a warm hoagie. A hoagie is a sub sandwich. A sub sandwich is a complicated po boy. Up in Yankee country, it’s pronounced “grein-duh.” A particularly good grinder in that region is wicked good. Hartford used to have The Whalers hockey team, but they moved to Carolina. Before the move, a popular night out for the young people was to go to the Conn to see the Whale and then maybe grab a grinder. We talk more better than that down here. There will be a quiz later.
But back to the breakfasts. The “Pit Grill Pancake” ($7.50) was a sampler of two eggs, three pancakes and bacon or sausage (sausage choices come in veggie or murderous). The eggs were fine, but the vegetarian “sausage” patties were excellent – they tasted and looked like real animal flesh! But the pancakes, oh, the pancakes: buttery and fluffy, like the Rangers in September, they came with real maple syrup, not the fake corn syrup that’s 23% responsible for making 17% of Americans over… wait! There’s more! We also had the Nopales plate. According to Wikipedia (that's "Wiked-pedia" in New England), nopales are a vegetable that originate from the stem segment of a prickly pear cactus. They taste a lot like green chilies and made for a great compliment to the scrambled eggs, with the only problem being that there were a few too many nopales and not enough eggs on the plate. Still, the piquant refried black beans on the side and a sprinkling of sharp Greek feta cheese on top rounded out the dish nicely.
Despite the excellent food, the service was a little surly and inattentive. Also, the menu prices include tax, so, like in Europe, the bill will end in a .00 or .50. Not that there’s anything wrong with an easy pricing system, but it seems to make the meal more expensive. Wait a minute - surly service… European-style pricing… Perhaps the Best Western Uptown is our very own little slice of Paris! Tray be N!
Overall, Buzzbrews gets the job done right. We haven’t been there on a weekend, but we imagine a wait for a weekend brunch-time table (Hey, our table's ready! We have vivid imaginations). Otherwise, it’s a good bet anytime of the day. On our short-order, five-gavel rating scale, with five gavels being the waitress who got the $10,000 tip, and one gavel being a waitress serving up a sneezer special, we give Buzzbrews four gavels, or the $10,000 tip waitress after the IRS deductions. We love the IRS!
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