J G’s Hamburgers: Plenty of Flare on the Walls, but Not in the Food.
by Michael Anderson and Anthony Lowenberg

           
Well, it’s summertime and that can mean only one thing: billing!  But when we’re not too busy trying to keep our jobs, it can also mean cookouts with thick, juicy hamburgers on the grill.  But since we don’t really know how to make anything except reservations, we’ll settle for trying someone else’s burgers.  And what better place to try a hamburger than the place that won D Magazine’s Best Burger in Dallas competition:  Preston Hollow. Whups, that was Best Neighborhood.  According to D, the Best Burger may be found at J G's Hamburgers, on Greenville north of Forest Lane.  And everything D Magazine says is unquestionably true, right?  And the fact that we’ve never made “The List” is just an oversight too, right?  Not that we needed the validation or anything.  By the way, Paper City, we’re still waiting for those pictures of us eating at Standard to be published…

Getting back to the review, one thing that becomes abundantly clear when you walk into J G’s is they have taken a page out of the TGIFriday’s school of interior decorating, as there is more crazy, old timey stuff on the walls than you can shake a stick at.  The only things missing were waiters with several pieces of flare and extreme quesedillas, but that’s probably a good thing (to the extreme!).  The set up is very straight forward, with a counter in the center where you place your order, a condiment bar immediately in front of that and lots of tables on either side where you can take in all the crazy, old-timeiness.  The prices are pretty much the same as at any other burger joint – two burgers with fries or onion rings, drinks and a shake will put you back around $12-15 bucks.

So, how about the food?  The onion rings, crisp and hot without being greasy, were a real standout.  The fries were thick and fresh from the fryer, but, without the seasoned salt that some other burger joints around town add, they lacked a little zip.  We tried the vanilla malt, which is made with Blue Bell ice cream and was just as creamy and malty as you could want.  But, we know what you really want to hear about… the goat!  (oops, sorry, that was last month!)  We mean… the burgers!!  How were they?  They were good, but not great.  The meat isn’t thin, but it isn’t especially thick and it was cooked a little too medium rather than a juicy, medium rare.  The buns were lightly toasted, which was a nice touch, and the condiment bar had lots of fresh condiments, but, then again, so does Fuddrucker’s.  This is the place to try something a little different, given that the standard fare is a little too standard.  For example, the blue cheese burger had a little bit of a kick to it from the freshly crumbled cheese.  Also, the soda fountain is set up so that you can be a little adventurous and add a little bit from each type of soda into your glass.

Still, on the one standard by which all burger joints are measured, J G’s fell a little short, and our faith in the infallibility of D Magazine has been shaken just a bit.  But, the good news is there's a secret message hidden in every review, and if you can decode it, you win a free supply of Rice-a-Roni, the San Francisco treat, and our eternal respect (that Rice-a-Roni's worth about 10 times more than our respect, by the way.  Our respect index has taken a real beating this week).  So, on our USDA-approved five-gavel scale, we give J G’s two-and-a-half gavels. 

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