The New Hotness Around Town (No, Not Us)
By Anthony Lowenberg and Michael Anderson

We report, you decide what we want you to think! Here at the Law Reviewers headquarters and 99 cent store, we work hard every month to bring you the finest in self-congratulatory ego boosters that also mention restaurants. So, we’re proud to present this month’s review, which is actually five mini-reviews of our picks for the best new places on the scene and a few places that are new to us but deserve a lot more attention from all of you. We have an Old and Busted list too, but we’ll keep it to ourselves for now. It’s too dangerous to print!! So, meet the New Hotness:

1. Olivella’s: Props to Pegasus News' Teresa Gubbins for first alerting us to this place. And you may have noticed that the Snooze reviewed it just a couple of weeks ago. Well, we’re man enough to admit that the Morning News’ reviewer pretty much hit the nail on the head with his recent review – let’s see: described the wood-burning brick oven essential to making great pizza, check; detailed the revelatory experience of first biting into one of their delicious pizzas, check; chronicled the mouthwatering dishes and pizza ingredients available, check; gave the place a 3 star rating – THE HUH?!? Um, we hate to nit pick, but how does a place that makes the closest thing to authentic, Old World-style pizza in Dallas rate only 3 stars!?!? For the record, the pizza is how it’s supposed to be, and how anyone can ever have Papa Junk’s after eating at Olivella’s, we don’t know. Yes, you're paying Parkie prices here (Parkies’ pizza picks are pretty pricey – say that three times fast!), but that’s the only thing we would complain about if tortured enough. Most individual pies run $13-$15 and two-person pies are $16-$23 – but the pizza here is really special. The pies feature either house-made mozzarella or buffalo mozzarella imported from Italy. Other ingredients include truffle oil, soprasetta, and the lightest tomato sauce to ever hold flavor. Olivella’s should also make the cover of Popular Mechanics for perhaps the greatest invention ever in the history of the world (or the corner of McFarlin and Hillcrest) – the Mezzaluna: half calzone, half pizza. All good. Go for lunch and a truly magical pizza experience that doesn’t involve three hours of waiting for the hostess/host/door troll to notice you (coughCoalVines FiresidePiescoughcough). 4½ gavels.

 2. Texas Caribbean Foods: Tasty Jamaican beef, chicken and veggie patties – $4.50. Spicy (but not overwhelmingly so) jerk chicken with rice – $8.50. Bread pudding with plenty o’ real butter rum sauce – $4.50. Not returning to work because you got tipsy from your dessert – Priceless. There are some places boring diners are afraid to try. For everyone else, there’s Texas Caribbean Foods. 3 ½ gavels.

3. Kavala Mediterranean Grill: What do Greek food and Chinese food have in common? Both are lacking in the Dallas dining scene as far as quality and accessibility are concerned. To head off any (okay, some) hate mail: Yes, Richardson has some great, authentic Chinese restaurants, and there is passable Greek food around town (mostly too expensive or too divey), but quality, mainstream places are lacking. There’s basically Zaziki’s and… a couple of places still trying to cash in on My Big, Fat Greek Wedding fever (catch it!). And to be mainstream, it doesn’t have to be American-ized, but we do require that it be fresh and inviting. Well, Kavala just may be the fanciest place ever to inhabit a former Dairy Queen. Sadly, though, it does not serve Blizzards. And the food easily surpasses the digs. Greek mainstays like the lamb gyro are succulent and nicely seasoned, while the more unusual dishes like a goulash-y soup special containing paprika and mushrooms are a pleasant surprise. 3 ¾ gavels.

4. Fernando’s Mexican Cuisine: The secret is out about Fernando’s, which is already almost two years old. Tucked into an obscure corner of the shopping center at Midway and Northwest Highway, Fernando’s cuisine is Mexico City-meets-Tex Mex, but its atmosphere brings to memory the heyday of old favorites either long gone (Los Vaqueros) or always overcrowded (Mia’s). A typical 7pm on Thursdays through Sundays features throngs of families jockeying for tables inside or the few tables on the sidewalk. Other days and times feature quicker seating; the 10-stool bar is also a winner, with its amazingly efficient bartender/waiter. Three types of salsa come with the chips, including the smoothest avocado salsa in town. Try the huevos con chorizo for something different (Eggs for dinner? Such rebels, we are.). 3 gavels.

5. Zagu?n World Bakery & Cafe: We thought Zagu?n was brand new when we first visited it recently, but, when sitting down to dictate this review into the Dictodactyl we borrowed from Wilma, we learned that it’s actually been in business since 2002. While we sit and rhetorically ask, "Who knew?" at the sky, you should visit this gem on the cusp of Uptown. Pass by the other overrated wannabes on lower Oak Lawn (Nothing against hippies, but what’s the deal with Cosmic Caf?? Why is the food always so… bad?), and find a table at Zagu?n. Some hours are seat yourself, and sometimes someone helps you out. Don’t be shy asking for help with the menu, but if you’re going to just choose something blindly, let it be a Cachapa ($2.99 - 7.38), which is a sweetcorn turnover stuffed with anything from meat and cheese to egg to tuna (and so on) and served with a side of plantain chips. The sweetness of the corn complements the meat nicely, and the plantain chips add some crunch to the whole deal. For an appetizer, order the Zagu?n sampler, which consists of a bevy of fried delicacies from the southern hemisphere. Balance out the fried cornucopia with a glass from Zagu?n’s juice bar or an Inca Kola ("It’s a-Maya-zing!"). Then hit the dessert case, where over a dozen delicacies await your arteries. 3½ gavels.